By Diane Lang
For me, my transition is based on mid-life. But we can transition at any age. Transitioning is a process of change or period in which something undergoes a change and passes from one state, stage, form into another according to Bing Dictionary.
I choose to see transitioning as a great time in life. A time when you can make positive changes and move forward to switch direction on your path of life. It’s a wake up call to make a change or shift in perspective. We should never view a time of transition as negative. A transition allows you to make better choices and find your true self.
I find my mid-life transition to be a spiritual transition. This transition has led me down a spiritual path that has changed my life. I have a daily spiritual routine that has brought me great peace and happiness. It made me realize I want to live life through my soul not my ego. It showed me what is truly important and allowed me to make some positive changes in my life.
One question that has popped up numerous times during my transition is:
Am I making a difference in someone’s life?
From this question alone, I have made a lot of changes. Transition = change. When people go through a transition I always get asked the question:
How can I change? so below I have enclosed some tips on making changes.
1. To change you must start with your thought process. What are you thinking? What do you tell yourself? Your thoughts = actions. So, if your thoughts are negative so will your actions BUT if your thoughts are positive so will your actions. Choose positive thoughts.
2. Snap to awareness- if you’re not aware of your negativity then start off with the snap to awareness exercise. For one day where a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you have a negative thought or comment snap the rubber band. Keep count of how many snaps you make in a day. This will wake you up to the negative thoughts you’re having.
3. Perspective – every time you have a negative event or situation look at it from a different view by asking yourself:
What can I learn from this situation/event?
What changes can I make?
4. What changes do you want to make? Make a list of all the things in your life you want to change both personally and professionally. We can’t change until we aware of what changes we want to make.
5. Patience – it takes at least a month or so to make changes whether it’s starting a new habit or breaking an old habit. Most of my clients make changes within 2-3 months. Be realistic and have patience.
6. Start small – take baby steps. Every little step (no matter how small) will give you positive reinforcement which will motivate you to continue on your path of change. One step at a time. Don’t become overwhelmed or you will procrastinate.
7. Fear – expect to feel it. It’s normal to feel it. Accept the fear and then work right thru it. If you don’t take a risk and work through fear, you won’t be able to change.
8. Gratitude – when you see what you have and have a genuine appreciation of your life, it gives us the foundation to make changes.
9. Look at your past changes you have made and how you survived them. Usually the changes weren’t as bad as you thought they would be. It’s just the fear of change, the fear of the unknown. Realize that Change=growth! If we don’t grow/change we will become stagnate and stuck.
10. Make the changes for you not anyone else. When making changes ask yourself:
Will this change make me a better person?
Is it a change that is in agreement with my authentic self?
– Diane Lang is a therapist, author, and positive psychology educator Diane Lang. Ms. Lang is the author of “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness.” She has been featured in many publications and shows, including the Daily Record, Family Beautiful Magazine, Health & Beauty NJ, Family and Working Mother Magazine, Good Morning Connecticut, and Fox & Friends. She has counseled patients with different forms of mental illness, physical and emotional abuse, and relationship issues, and is a much-sought-after expert for positive parenting.