By Bob Livingstone

Continued from part 1 of this article…..

Steps to Feeling Safe:

• The very first step is to recognize that safety does indeed exist and that you are deserving of it.

• Think about the moments when you have felt safe and write about them. When you are feeling frightened, turn to your journal and focus on it. For example, if you remember feeling relaxed and warm laying on the beach, bring up a memory of that and allow it to flow into your fears.

• Be aware that we all have different parts of us inside. Some parts may be identified as children, punitive adults, loving women, caring men and those that carry wisdom. These parts become fragmented and don’t connect when you are not feeling safe. When you are feeling scared, look inside and find which part is being triggered. Once you find your place of wisdom and caring parts; have them communicate reassuring, loving messages.

• It is important to get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly and hang out with those who really have your best interest at heart.

• Terminate relationships with those who belittle you and are not trustworthy.

• Discover what unconditional love really means and apply it to yourself-accepting that you are not perfect and that is OK.

• Seek out psychotherapy to help face, work through and heal from not feeling safe. EMDR(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Sandtray Therapy are two modalities that can help you learn to feel safe.

– Bob Livingstone is the author the critically acclaimed Unchain the Pain: How to be Your Own Therapist, Norlights Press 2011, The Body Mind Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books, 2007 and Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager’s Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, Booklocker 2002. He is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker in private practice in The San Francisco Bay Area and has nearly twenty five years experience working with adults, adolescents and children.