By Katrin Deres
Adolescence is considered to be a time of both discovery and disorientation. An average child goes through a lot of physiological and psychological changes as he journeys through teenage years. Oftentimes adolescents go through serious problems owing to certain internal or external pressures, which may take the form of poverty, parental issues, failed relationships, bullying, child abuse, pornography addiction, teenage pregnancies or drugs. Parents are mostly unable to appreciate the mental anguish their child might be going through. This is mostly because after entering teenage, children hardly share any of their personal issues with their parents, fearing possible consequences or their parents’ inability to understand their situation.
All kids, teenagers especially, deserve a certain level of privacy, and parents need to appreciate this when dealing with their children’s problems. Many a time children seek independence, while parents demand obedience, which can lead to serious consequences including verbal abuse and even violence. This is a difficult and emotionally traumatizing situation for both of them, especially the parents since they find themselves responsible for their shortcomings in raising their children.
Finding the cause
Instead of fretting over it and not doing something about it, try to find out the reason for this abnormal behavior of your child. Take him/her out for a walk or to a restaurant and try to bring up the subject. Be frank with your kids. Is he/she tense about academics, being bullied at school, having a fight with his/her best friend, mourning over a lost crush, keeping bad companies, etc? Do not be alarmed by your child’s response if it is in the affirmative or if he/she simply refuses to accept that something is amiss. As parents you need to be extra patient and forbearing.
You need to be there for your kids when they are going through troubling times, and do your best to help them find a way out. Teenage is a time when kids start to feel like grown-ups and in some instances might go out of the way to prove that they are. By reprimanding them for not taking care of their own affairs, you will only be provoking them into such immature behavior.
How to deal with it
• Try to counsel your children yourself, by taking the help of a relative whom your kids trust, or by referring to a specialist. You may also try to approach your child’s friends and ask them about whatever issue he/she is going through.
• Let your children know you love them and their happiness is more important to you than anything else. Make them realize you are only trying to help them out.
• Try to look for some healthy pastimes for your child, like going to a library, joining a sports club or gym, doing some social work etc.
• Praise them for their achievements, be it academic success or helping with household chores. Let them feel appreciated and not give them the chance to complain about their deeds going uncredited.
• To keep an eye on your child in order to ensure he/she is not taking part in suspicious activities, keeping bad companies or associating with potentially dangerous people, install some spyware like mSpy on his/her cell phone and keep track of his call logs, text messages, internet usage, and where he/she likes to hang out. If you sense anything noteworthy that is out of the ordinary, try to talk to your child by approaching the subject indirectly, without revealing the presence of your spy software (that could lead to more trouble). Having your child voice his own concerns to you is the best way to deal with it, instead of having a direct confrontation.
– Katrin has two years experience in blogging. Writes mainly about mobile spy software such as mSpy and cell phone security features. She has been contributor to many magazines and blogs.