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As a clinical psychologist, Joanne J. Wendt knows that many people are struggling with romantic and interpersonal relationships. She recently made news by launching her list of the top things women do to sabotage their relationships with men and now she is turning the tables by giving advice to men about their sabotaging behaviors as well.
Clinical psychologist Joanne J. Wendt educates men and women on ways to improve their interactions and build better relationships with each other. In anticipation of New Year’s resolutions regarding relationships, she began by releasing new recommendations regarding women. But now she is targeting men who may be unknowingly sabotaging their relationships as well.
Dr. Wendt approaches the topic by saying that knowing what to say and how to say it can have a profound effect on the quality of one’s relationship. She also believes that many of the most harmful behaviors are done unintentionally. “One of the worst things a man can do is say or do things that make a woman feel alone in the relationship by not giving her the kind of support and attention she needs,” says Dr. Wendt.
Dr. Wendt says that although this is usually done unintentionally, the effects can be devastating to the viability of maintaining a partner’s love and affection. For example, sometimes men fail to share in the burden of housework. Women not only need to know that they are appreciated, they also need to know that they are not alone in doing all that needs to be done.
“Do you know your partner’s dreams?” Dr. Wendt says many men do not. Or even if they do, they may not fully honor their partner’s aspirations. “When a man is in a relationship with a woman, it is important for him to listen to her talk about what she ultimately wants from her life. It is also important to listen to her explain how she hopes to achieve her goals,” says Dr. Wendt. In not doing this, Dr. Wendt says men have the power to make their romantic partners deeply unhappy.
Breaking a woman’s trust is another way to sabotage a relationship, according to Dr. Wendt, especially since trust is critical for women to feel safe to express themselves to their partners. Angry responses or critical voice tones from men toward women tend to make them feel afraid of sharing their feelings. Therefore, men need to be mindful of making sure they are a “soft pillow to fall on.” But once trust is compromised or even threatened, women may feel alone in the relationship and it will take time and work to regain it.
In many families, men work long hours to provide safety and security for their families. But, unfortunately, the lack of time for connecting may inadvertently make some wives feel abandoned and alone in the relationship. Maintaining a healthy balance between home and work life is essential. Dr. Wendt says other ways of preventing a woman from feeling alone in her relationship involve including her in extracurricular activities, being affectionate and compassionate at all times (not only when wanting to be intimate) and complimenting her in different ways to shows how much she is appreciated.
“Only when men do these things in a consistent and ongoing pattern, will the woman trust that he is truly there for her and not feel alone in the relationship,” says Dr. Wendt. Resources for improving one’s relationship can be found in the “I Recommend” section of Dr. Wendt’s website.
About Joanne J. Wendt, Ph.D.:
Dr. Wendt is a Clinical Psychologist who for 28 years has been helping individuals, couples, and families find peace and harmony in a respectful and caring atmosphere. She specializes in relationship issues, depression, and anxiety. Dr. Wendt’s goal is to help her clients discover the strength within them to achieve their highest possible potential. Her approach to the therapeutic setting is one of optimism and great respect for an individual’s readiness to meet difficult challenges and gain a greater understanding of who he/she aspires to be. To find out more, visit http://drjoannewendt.com.