By Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC
Continued from part 1 of this article…..
* Don’t panic if your kids treat your date badly the first time they meet him. They may feel threatened, or worried that they are losing you. The more you reassure them beforehand that you will always love them and be there for them, the better they will adjust.
* Make the first meeting with your children casual and easy.
* If your children do become attached to your new partner but you don’t, let him go. Children should never be placed in a situation where their feelings are what keep two people together. If that had worked the first time, you wouldn’t have an ex. Your children will adjust and do better the happier and more fulfilled you are.
With motherhood comes wisdom, but when you are head over heels infatuated with someone, you often don’t rely on the wisdom inherent in motherhood. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want helps you find what you do.
5 Types Single Moms Should Avoid:
* Deadbeat dad. If he doesn’t care for his own kids, he won’t care for yours….ever.
* He texts, but won’t talk face to face. If he doesn’t want to have a conversation with you, he is either having other relationships or he isn’t into communication. Neither is okay for you.
* He has issues and they are Big Issues, and he wants to talk about them…all the time. Women like vulnerability and they like sharing, but if your date shares too much and his issues are too big, he needs a therapist, not a date.
* He’s separated but not divorced yet. You will regret getting into a relationship with someone who hasn’t had time to get out on his own and heal.
* He wants to be the father of your children today. Although this may seem helpful and sweet, there is a reason, which isn’t as sweet underneath. This guy is desperate to connect.
The majority of single moms do get married to wonderful partners. Don’t let your lack of confidence or low self-esteem discourage you from dating or allow you to settle for just anyone to avoid being alone. If you’re a single mom, you are capable of running a home, raising a family, and achieving what you prioritize. Never lower your standards when you can inspire someone to respect and live up to yours.
– Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.