By Diane Lang
We make happiness harder than it has to be. If we keep trying to find it or searching for it too long, all we will find is frustration. We can choose happiness by making the commitment to ourselves to choose happiness. We need to realize all changes take time and hard work. Are you willing to do the work? If you are you can live a happier life. Psychotherapist, author and positive living expert, Diane Lang, offers eight steps to start the process to a happier life:
1. Accepting and embracing where you are in life – this is your starting point, a foundation.
2. Realize the bottom line is you are WORTHY! Our biggest fear is not being worthy.
3. To make these changes you need to repeat positive thoughts over and over again- remember the negative cycle started the same way. You either heard negative statements about yourself from others repeatedly or you constantly put yourself down; either way we need to break the cycle.
4. Self-compassion- how do you talk to yourself? Are you constantly putting yourself down? What kind of monologue goes on in your head on a daily basis? Start the cycle of self-compassion by being kind to yourself. Remove all the negative words such as I can’t, I won’t, should, could, would, maybe, etc.
5. Each day take a small risk and write it down, keep a journal of all your risks. In your journal ask yourself:
– Why did I choose this risk?
– How did it make me feel?
– Was the risk a success?
Asking yourself these questions will help you knock down the wall of vulnerability and fear. This allows us to see we can make a mistake; recover, grow and learn from it.
6. Be your true self- we need to be our true selves in order to find true connections with others. We have friends that we need to keep a mask on or feel like we walking on egg shells because deep down inside we are afraid that we will not fit in or be accepted. Change this cycle by being the “real” you so you attract the right type of relationships.
7. Remember all negative situations are temporary. Ask yourself, will this situation matter in two weeks or six weeks? Look at the big picture will this situation impact my life is a huge way? Most of the time what we stress out about is not worth the time we put in, we forget about it within a few weeks. Don’t waste your energy or time.
8. All situations can be viewed as good or bad, it’s all about perspective. When things happen that most people would consider “bad”, I choose to look at it as a learning experience. Instead of saying, why me? I say what can I learn from this experience? How will it help me grow to be a better person? What can I change so it won’t happen again? This changes the view. If we change our perspective, we change how we feel.
– Diane Lang is a Positive Living Expert and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct professor at Montclair State University.