By Diane Lang

We have no choice but to change. It’s a natural part of life but yet we fear it. To decide if you want to change as a whole or just make some small changes ask yourself these questions:

1. Is your life satisfying and/or fulfilling?

2. Do you feel making changes is easy or do you fear change?

3. Do you enjoy changes?

4. What do you want to change and why?

The next question I always get is why don’t people change? These are some of the reasons we fear change.

1. Is the change worth it? We think what if we change and things get worse? Is the grass really greener on the other side?

2. We fear change due to our upbringing or past experiences but remember every situation is different. We can’t base everything on past experiences plus we can use the past experience as a teachable moment so we don’t make the same mistakes twice.

Fear can be learned. The good news: if it’s learned we can unlearn it and form new habits/thoughts.

3. Are you afraid to rock the boat – make waves in your life that will affect others like family, friends, or partner?

4. We are afraid to step outside our comfort zone. We are afraid to lose our stability and security. So, we stay in our comfortable mode but that also means we don’t grow or develop.

5. We become overwhelm during changes.

It is normal to have fears and doubts. Feel the fear, express the doubts don’t try to push them aside or bury your feelings. Making changes is a big move and its ok to feel uncomfortable but don’t let that stop you.

Here are a few ways to start making changes

1. Take a look at yourself and your life. Be honest with yourself. Who are you? What isn’t working in your life?

2. Change your perspective on change – change is necessary to grow, develop and reach our full potential. If we don’t change we will become stale, stagnate and depressed.

3. Treat yourself kind, respectfully and be patient

4. Start small – one change at a time. Baby steps are good with change; you don’t want to overwhelm yourself.

5. Have an action plan – set your “change goal” and an action plan on how to reach this goal. It makes the goal more attainable.

6. Don’t’ expect perfection or unrealistic expectations.

7. Don’t expect all family and friends to agree with your changes but do have support. If you don’t have supportive friends or family, professional support is available through groups or counseling.

8. Make a commitment to yourself to change. This will help when you hit times of discomfort. When you make the commitment you’re more likely to stick with it.

– Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized speaker, happinesss author, educator, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living as well as multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs. In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct professor at Montclair State University.