My message to kids today that I wish I knew back then is that life is not a “bowl of cherries” as my mother chanted. Expect disappointments and life’s inevitable letdowns. As Ben Affleck said when he accepted the Oscar for his Argo, Best Picture of the Year, “You have to work harder than you think you possibly can,” an emotional Affleck told the audience at the Dolby Theatre. “You can’t hold grudges. And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, because that’s going to happen. All that matters is that you’ve got to get back up.”

If I could turn back the hands of time I would better prepare myself for failure and disappointment by setting more realistic expectations. You can work very hard and hope to reach the heights yet be very aware that you may not land as high as you shoot.

As a child and family psychologist, today I preach this mantra to parents. If you give in and submit to your child’s demands all of the time or even some of the time, you are setting-up your child for disappointments in the real world. No one will submit to your child’s charm, protest, or commands.

– Dr. Fran Walfish, leading child, teen, parent, and family psychotherapist and author in Beverly Hills, CA.