Carolyn Hall – If I Knew Then What I Know Now

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Life Lessons From Adults To Children
Today’s Guest – Carolyn Hall

1. Your message to kids today that you wish you knew back then what you currently know now. Be specific.

You can have a successful career doing what you love. You can get up every day and love what you do and make money doing it. I allowed toxic/negative relationships interfere with my recognizing this fact.

2. How did you learn your lesson or what was your lesson? Did you get hurt, did you upset someone, did you get scared?

My lesson was that I experienced toxic relationships with my significant other and years went by before I realized I was caught in a vicious cycle of verbal, emotional and mental abuse. Due to that abuse, it affected me focusing on bettering myself and setting personal and professional goals. I was always one who could set a goal and achieve it but when I look back, those goals were always short-term, such as get a car, get a job, get an outfit. What I learned after getting a real good look in the mirror after getting laid off, was that I processed what it took to be secure financially all along because I knew I was smart, intelligent and highly skilled but I always felt a certain part say to myself: your not doing something.

3. What you would have done differently back then if you could turn back time.

When I looked back at what I didn’t do, I realized all I didn’t do was educate myself on the tangible and practical lessons that my parents, teachers and/or mentors/bosses were trying to teach me. Such as how important it is to save money each week from each paycheck, even if that was only $5. Lessons like, never miss paying bills and thinking doubling up on small bills is the route to go. Never to allow anyone to take all of my attention so that I neglected myself. Neglect in areas not like dress or doing my hair but neglect as in not furthering my education, my own financial stability/bank account or my own future for me and my children, like their own accounts, college fund etc. True independence. This was a hugh lesson I failed to get and as my parents especially used to say, to find a mate who compliments your endeavors is a blessing but you must be prepared in life to live and survive on your own no matter what. With your mate and without your mate. When I think about that one simple lesson, the message is clear that they were seeing I was a giver, nurturer and sometimes as that type of person, you forget yourself in it all and all they wanted me to do was to be secure on all levels, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically, which includes financially.

4. Do you convey this message to children in your life today?

Absolutely! Not only do I teach these lessons in words, I show them how. I set up an appointment for my son, who is 23, with a financial planner; I shop, cook, show and discuss woman/mother balancing principals with my 21 yr old new mom in simple ways like maintaining a household, working from home on computer, researching school options and how to keep a bag ready for baby so she can also still go with girlfriends at the drop of a dime. Being spontaneous is important to enjoying life so you don’t loose yourself in taking care of your family but at the same time, she is learning that her family truly does come first and if she has good time management skills and daily routines with most task, it doesn’t get heavy or burdensome and is light so won’t get too overwhelming. The biggest lesson I want her to get out of the things we do together is to realize she is not always going to have the answers and even though she handles things find, she must ask for help or turn to others for suggestions, try new things and keep her own balance. With my last and youngest girl, 15, I have set up a program within our company just for her. It is called Girl’s Daily. It is a forum/support system for girls 14-16 to share, vent, ask, lead, encourage and feel safe to tell secrets, tell what they need to and learn how and where to seek advice on their own. We are even going to have physical lessons to protect self, such as karate, or boxing or just the importance to stay fit enough to run when you have to run.

5. Anything else you`d like to add?

Empowerment, Inspiration, Encouragement and Motivation comes with relating, sharing your mistakes, triumphs and challenges. Being honest about one’s not getting something right the first time around is key because as adults we sometimes come off to youth as know it all and don’t think the young have good and valuable input. When honest with self and them, we both win by opening lines of communication, depending on each other in a variety of healthy positive ways and forms a strong bond to make a difference in others lives.

– Carolyn Hall, President, CL3 Agency